Rained Out
by Immi
Summary: "Maybe if she stood there long enough, it would wash her away, too." CathSara
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI.

AN: Yes, this is another new story that I created instead of finishing certain other fics. This one should be short, and yes, that's my defense.

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Sara sat down on the ground and stared up at the sky. Cold rain showered her face, but that was okay. She was very warm. She had her brother's sweatshirt on. And even under that… she was warm. 

She wondered if it was right that it was raining; that it looked like the sky was crying. It had rained when her brother left, and that had felt right. Wasn't this just as sad? Shouldn't it have been?

Sara shivered and brought her knees to her chest. She could hear laughter. Her mother laughed a lot. Especially lately. It wasn't hysterical; her mother wasn't insane yet. It was cold. Cruel. Sara didn't like it at all.

Especially now. It was… wrong.

It was supposed to be directed at her, not… not a corpse.

Sara clutched desperately at her head as the thought made itself known. **No.** Her mother wouldn't murder anyone. Her mother… Murdering someone wasn't_ right_. Her mother wouldn't do something that wrong and then—and then _laugh_ about it. There had to be something she wasn't understanding.

She had been trying to behave. She always tried. But she also always made a mistake. She had been too noisy, and her father had woken up from sleeping on the couch. Her father hated being woken up. The punishment for waking him up hurt. They went to the hospital a lot because of it.

She didn't know why she ran. She was used to being punished. It was normal.

But… she ran anyways. All the way up to her room. Her father had followed, and… she had fought with him. She had tried to get out of the punishment she'd earned. She shouldn't have done that.

And then her mother had started yelling about hidden drugs. She had come inside Sara's room with the knife, never quieting her voice.

The knife hurt a lot. Sara had made enough bad mistakes to know that. The knife was dangerous. There was always blood because of it.

Her blue walls didn't look good covered in blood. Maybe it would when it was dry… purple. She had always wanted purple walls.

Sara looked down at her hands. The rain was washing away the blood. Sara watched it flow into the mud for a few seconds before taking off her brother's sweatshirt and throwing it into a bush. It was cold out here. She shouldn't be so warm.

She was, though. The blood coloring her shirt was still warm. Sara stood up in the pouring rain, and waited for the water to wash away all of the blood.

She took out the hunting knife she had found under her brother's bed and sliced her palm open. She wanted to laugh—the hysterical kind, the kind that her mother should've let out while she murdered her husband—when that also seeped away. She felt dizzy with hope and happiness at the discovery.

Maybe if she stood there long enough, it would wash her away, too.

Sara looked up at the sky again. She liked the rain.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI.

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It was raining again.

Sara smiled halfheartedly when she felt the first raindrop hit her cheek, but she didn't look up from the ground. She wasn't in the mood to enjoy the weather.

She wondered, briefly, what had possessed her to leave the coroner's office. There, no one had thought her crazy for liking the rain. Here… Sara had yet to meet a criminalist who didn't curse the rain for washing away evidence.

Admittedly, she was close to doing the same at the moment.

Lindsey's dad had died a few days ago. It had been raining then, too. Maybe if it hadn't been, she would've found more to work with. As it was, Lindsey might never know who killed her dad.

It was easier to think about Eddie that way. Sara had overheard too many of Catherine's rants to believe that he was anything even approaching a good husband. Thinking of him that way made it difficult to feel sympathetic.

Lindsey, though… she never said anything against her dad. She had even defended him against Catherine during the interview. She loved her dad.

Sara closed her eyes and sighed softly. She knew what that was like. At least Lindsey had known what it was like to be loved back. That was a luxury that had filled her dreams when she was little.

When Sara opened her eyes again, she wasn't surprised to find herself looking at bloody mud instead of quickly darkening dirt. It had been years since she had been able to see the blood slipping through her fingers so clearly. She felt like a scared kid all over again.

"You're going to catch a cold."

Sara jerked her head up at the familiar voice and the warm hand that squeezed her shoulder.

Catherine.

The last person she expected to come anywhere near her was sitting next to her on a bench in the pouring rain. Warding off the confusion, Sara shrugged.

"I like the rain."

Catherine nodded blankly and stared out at the mostly empty parking lot in front of them. Why someone had positioned the bench so that it looked out on the parking lot, Sara would never know.

"Lindsey did, too. She liked jumping in puddles." Catherine's voice was soft, something that worried Sara a little. She almost sounded… defeated. Catherine Willows was not supposed to sound that way. Ever.

Sara understood it, though. Lindsey had probably grown up a lot waiting for her mother to rescue her from the sinking car. Catherine would go through her own issues with that. The thought of her little girl not seeing rain the same lighthearted way she had for years seemed to be the first of those issues.

Sara wished they were on better terms. She wanted to wrap her arms around Catherine and never let go, but the action probably wouldn't be welcome. Even holding her hand was a bit of a risk. Sara took it.

They sat still in the rain for a few minutes before Catherine disentangled their hands and stood up. She didn't move too far away, though. She was looking at something up in the sky.

Catherine caught Sara's watching eyes and smiled grimly. She pointed up at the sky. "That's the only part I still like." She walked off, probably heading to her car to warm up.

Sara looked up at the rainbow and watched it die as the sun hid back behind the clouds. She wasn't used to noticing that part. It was pretty.

Then the colors faded, and the black clouds were back in all their horrible glory. Sara rubbed her hand absentmindedly, remembering how it had felt in Catherine's.

For just a second, she could see the rainbow again.

It really was beautiful.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI.

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The downpour had just started. Rain was pouring all around the car, sending cascades of mud surging down the small hill. Sara watched as one river of mud tore through a small plant. The plant's leaves rushed along; trapped in the current.

Was it finally going to happen?

Sara closed her eyes. Water was starting to churn up under the car. She didn't move. All she could think about was how she had stood outside her parents' house in the rain, waiting for it to wash her away.

A small part of her was still waiting.

But…

She hadn't meant to be five minutes early for shift. To her, that was coming in late. To Catherine, that was being on time. They had almost collided on their way into the locker room. Sara was glad that they hadn't then. Both of them had been carrying coffee.

In the race to get changed and out of the locker room, the coffee had been abandoned on one of the benches. Sara was pretty sure it was the one closest to the door. That was the one they knocked over.

They had collided on their way out. Thank God their coffee had been forgotten. Not that it would have really mattered. They had barely touched each other. The collision probably wouldn't have done anything.

On the other hand, what happened next definitely would have.

Sara remembered being pinned against her locker. That and the feel of Catherine's tongue against hers. Beyond that there had only been the pleasant, warm haze that Sara had long since associated with the older woman.

If they hadn't knocked over the bench… but they had. They had jolted apart and looked around nervously for a few minutes, waiting for someone to come and ask about the noise. No one came.

Sara had thought about acting on her feelings for Catherine several times before, always dismissing the idea. She had been afraid—no, terrified—of being rejected. But when she had finally dared to make eye contact with Catherine again, the blonde hadn't seemed so out of reach.

They were supposed to be eating breakfast together in a few hours. Their first date. Sara tried to imagine missing it. She couldn't.

The water was rising quickly. She didn't have a lot of time. Sara took a deep breath and gritted her teeth, preparing herself for the pain that would come with pulling her arm out from under the car.

She wasn't going to sit still and wait for her childish fantasy to come true. For months now, Catherine had replaced the water in her dreams.

Catherine was the only fantasy Sara wanted to hold on to.


End file.
